7 steps to heal a broken heart

One of the things that we human beings have in common is our ability to love. And with love often follows a broken heart. Sadly. Luckily, there are lots of things you can do if the love of your life has decided to leave you.

Heartbreak healers

    • We use the word ‘heartbroken’, but the heart isn’t broken – it has a crack in it and is open. This means that we’re open to love again. Remember this when you feel that you’ve lost everything.

      Many things can cause a broken heart:

    • - You broke up with someone and regret it.
    • - You hurt someone and you’re feeling upset and confused.
    • - You broke up with a person and you suddenly think “maybe I shouldn’t have let that special someone go.”
    • - You’re in an unhealthy relationship and don’t know what to do.
    • - The love of your life has broken up with you and you feel lost.
    • Whatever the reason, we’re all in the same love boat. And it hurts. A lot!

    • Here are seven steps to surviving a broken heart. We call them heartbreak-healers and they’re organised chronologically. You take the first step and when you’re emotionally ready, you move on to the next one. We can’t promise that your broken heart will be healed after the seven steps, but we promise you that you will have come a long way.

Seven steps

    1. 1. Cry!
      Sorry, but there’s no quick fix! It takes time to get over a lost love. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your feelings and recognize that your emotions are important. Your emotions are like an internal compass that help you to figure out how a situation makes you feel. So, allow yourself to cry and talk to someone you can trust.

    Psst! Listen to our heartbreak playlist or catch one of our nine love films and have a good cry!

    1. 2. Talk, talk, talk!
      We briefly touched upon it in the previous step. Opening your heart to someone is very important. It helps to say things out loud, and you’ll soon discover that most people have had their heart broken at some point in their lives. Which is something to take comfort in when dealing with your own heartache.


    1. 3. Let it go!
      We know that we just said that you need to embrace your emotions, but when you’ve finished crying, you’re ready to take the third step: forgive and let go. We’re not talking about forgiving the other person, but about forgiving yourself. Don’t let anger or your hurt feelings get the better of you. Letting go of your pain is the first step to setting yourself free.
    3. 4. Live your life!
  1. Eventually, you need to come to the realisation that life without your ex is worth living. So, be good to yourself and do some of the things that make you happy…

    - Call a friend
    - Do yoga or meditation
    - Buy flowers for yourself
    - Take a long bath
    - Go for a long walk while listening to your favorite tunes
    - Declutter your wardrobe and donate what you no longer need
    - Go to the bookshop and buy yourself a new book
    - Make yourself a footbath
    - Cook yourself your favourite meal

    1. 5. Love yourself!
  1. Okay, so once you’re done with the first four steps, you’re ready for this one: Draw up a list of the qualities that you like best about yourself when you’re in a relationship. It could be…

    • - I’m excellent at celebrating my partner’s birthday
    • - I always bring laughter to difficult discussions
    • - I’m good at saying ‘I’m sorry’
    • - I like to pamper my partner with breakfast in bed
    • - I’m good at paying compliments
    • - I enjoy meeting my partner’s friends
    1. 6. Do a good deed!

    You’re almost there, we promise! Now, it’s time to turn the focus away from yourself. Focusing on other people and their needs will help you feel useful, which is why it helps to do a good deed. Here is a list of ideas:

    • - Volunteer at a local soup kitchen
    • ­- Help a friend with cleaning
    • ­- Create a meal for one of your relatives
    • - Cut your neighbour’s lawn
    • - Let someone in a hurry before you in the line
    • - Pay a compliment to someone who deserves it
    1. 7. The final step
  1. Now there is only one thing left for you to do: try to avoid, and get rid of, everything that reminds you of your ex (music, objects, places…). This way, you won’t get overwhelmed with unwanted thoughts and feelings.

  3. Your emotional break-up journey has come to an end. Your heart may not be healed yet, but you’ve come a long away.

  5. PS. Remember, you’re not alone!
  6. PPS. Things will get better. Yes, it will. We promise!

    PPPS. The first cut is the deepest.

More heartbreak inspiration?

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